Clonmacnois Parish Newsletter
Sunday 8th May 2005 - Ascension Sun A
Tel (090) 9674125
Fax (090) 9674267
E-mail. Parishnewsletter@eircom.net

Shannonbridge
Masses: Each day @ 10am
Last Sunday's Offertory collection: €560. Many Thanks
Church Cleaners: A.Ryan, L.Turley, M.Mitchell
Eucharistic ministers: Group 1
Readers for next Weekend: S.Grennan, S.Quinn
Altar Servers for this week: Katie, Mary-Anne, Tara
Mass on next Sun for the late Dessie Keena
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Clonfanlough
Last Sunday's Offertory collection: €234. Many Thanks
Church Cleaners: Parents of F.H.C. children
Readers for next Sunday: A.Loonam, P.Guinan
Altar Servers for next Sunday: Group 3
Eucharistic minister for next Sunday: N.Egan

First Holy Communion Mass on next Sat @ 12 noon
Helplink South
Is in the process of submitting names of potential clients who qualify for a grant to have a socially monitored alarm installed in their homes under the Scheme for Community Support for Older People. To qualify for this grant you must be over 65.
'If you would like to have your name included please contact us at Unit 16, A.C.T., Ballalley Lane, Parnell Sq., Athlone.
You may also phone us at 090-6445080.
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Ballinasloe Flower & Garden Club
Presents 'A Gardening Talk' by Mary Waldron in Haydens Hotel,
Wed 11th May @ 8pm. Adm for non-members: €5.
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Basic Internet & Email class
Crank House Banagher, Mondays, 7 - 9pm, for 3 nights, starting on 16th May. Contact West Offaly Training on 0509-52003.
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Bulletin Bloopers (from bible.org)
These are ACTUAL announcements from church bulletins:

? Evening Massage—6 p.m.
? The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
? The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
? Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
? Ushers will eat latecomers.
? The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
? For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
? The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
? The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”